A Day in the Life of the Creepy Dude in the Next Cubicle

8:07AM Arrives at office. Does not say good morning. 8:09AM Disappears to office cafeteria for coffee, breakfast tacos and socializing with the few people who can stand to talk to him. 8:37AM Returns to desk with newspaper and gross coffee/taco breath. 8: 39AM Logs on to computer, sighs loudly, calls computer a “piece of shit.”…