Author: Arthur

So tomorrow is the Big Bean’s birthday and last night we went out for dinner with the BFF and her husband, Mr. Style — because the BFF’s birthday is just 10 days before the Big Bean’s and it’s both entertaining and economical to celebrate the two events together. Okay, the truth is we probably would’ve…

So last week the Big Bean and I made a list of things that we want to do to fix up the house and also have fun this spring/summer and it turns out our list is about 150 items long and is going to cost us at least one million dollars. After we added it…

I took the Bean to the cowboy store the other day because Halloween’s coming up and I see that as a GREAT opportunity to get my kid into some chaps. And it was funny and funny things happened there, and when I say funny I mean HOLYSHITBALLS you want $75 for a pair of toddler-sized…

We brought the Bean to the mall today, because it’s a million degrees outside and we’ve already been to all the indoor playscapes a million times and the Bean’s got a million jigawatts’ worth of energy coursing through his veins and the mall’s nice and cool and easy. Somewhere between Sears and Macy’s, there’s a…

My Dearest: Let me start by saying, I love you.  And no matter what happens, I always will.  I’ve loved you since that very first day we met, and what a crazy trip it’s been!  So many changes we’ve seen, you and I.  You’ve been there for me every step of the way, and I appreciate…

I am SO RELIEVED. The head of the Laryngitis Beast has finally been lopped off. Still hacking up bits and pieces of my lungs and other assorted innards but I HAVE MY VOICE BACK (for the most part) and have been using it to yell at LOTS of assholes today. The balance of the universe…

A few months ago I got something in the mail that said our family had been “randomly chosen” to participate in some kind of medical survey, which would involve us doing some stuff.  I really don’t know what stuff or how long it’s supposed to last or anything because there was a very crisp five…

8:07AM Arrives at office. Does not say good morning. 8:09AM Disappears to office cafeteria for coffee, breakfast tacos and socializing with the few people who can stand to talk to him. 8:37AM Returns to desk with newspaper and gross coffee/taco breath. 8: 39AM Logs on to computer, sighs loudly, calls computer a “piece of shit.”…

A couple of months ago, we bought The New Car. Correction. The Big Bean bought The New Car. I’ve driven The New Car exactly one time (before it was even “ours,” when we were still in the “test drive” phase — as soon as it actually belonged to “us” those privileges were immediately revoked). I’ve…

So I get to work late (again) this morning and I’m plodding up the stairs, just barely operating on the four hours of sleep I got last night and repeating to myself coffeecoffeecoffeecoffeeeeeee just trying to make it to my desk without passing out from the lack of sleep and lack of caffeine and, well,…